February 10, 2025 — Valentine’s Day can present unique challenges to relationships; loved ones living with dementia may not be able to express themselves or remember things as they did before the onset of the illness. To help caregivers affected by dementia, the Alzheimer’s Foundation of America (AFA) is encouraging families to follow H.E.A.R.T.—five tips on how to celebrate Valentine’s Day with a loved one.
“Dementia changes many facets of life, including relationship dynamics, but it should not prevent people from feeling love and affection,” said Jennifer Reeder, LCSW, AFA’s Director of Educational and Social Services. “There are ways families can adapt how they connect and express support so that someone living with dementia can experience love on Valentine’s Day and throughout the year.”
AFA encourages families to follow the five H.E.A.R.T. tips to create a dementia-friendly Valentine’s Day:
Help your loved one reminisce: Reminiscence activities provide valuable cognitive stimulation for someone living with dementia. Go through old photos together with your loved one and describe them—who the people are, where it was taken, what the occasion was, etc. Talking about moments you happily enjoyed together- whether it’s a vacation, celebration, or another occasion- is a great way to celebrate the love and special bond you share. Avoid asking the person questions such as “Do you remember this?”
Enjoy flowers together: The time-honored Valentine’s Day gift of flowers can have therapeutic benefits for someone living with dementia—the scent can be uplifting and can also stimulate the brain. Purchase a bouquet of fresh flowers (preferably ones that are non-toxic to humans or pets, such as roses, orchids, or sunflowers), set it on a table, and enjoy the fragrance together.
Adapt intimacy: Dementia’s impact can make it difficult to do some things as you once did, but there are numerous ways to maintain, restore, or create intimacy, love, and connection. Sharing a meal, watching a familiar movie, enjoying favorite music, or just taking a walk together are all ways to help stay connected. Nonverbal cues, such as gentle touching, smiles, and eye contact, can also maintain or strengthen connections with someone who may no longer be able to verbalize their emotions as before.
Reaffirm your feelings. Write a Valentine’s card and read it out loud to your loved one. Even if they can no longer grasp the full meaning, they might feel the sentiments you are expressing. The act of writing it and communicating your love can also raise your own spirits.
Talk in the person’s “love language.” People give or receive love through “love languages,” such as touch, words of affirmation, quality time, gifts, and acts of service. Know what types of gestures your loved one responds positively to and try to “speak to them” in that love language. Keep in mind that these may change over time as the dementia-related illness progresses.
AFA’s Helpline, staffed entirely by licensed social workers who are specifically trained in dementia care, can provide additional information and support for families. The Helpline is available seven days a week by phone (866-232-8484), text message (646-586-5283), and web chat (www.alzfdn.org).
About Alzheimer’s Foundation of America (AFA)
The Alzheimer’s Foundation of America (AFA) is a non-profit organization whose mission is to provide support, services, and education to individuals, families, and caregivers affected by Alzheimer’s disease and related dementias nationwide and to fund research for better treatment and a cure. Its services include a National Toll-Free Helpline (866-232-8484) staffed entirely by licensed social workers, caregiver support groups, educational programs and publications for caregivers, dementia-care training for healthcare professionals, the National Memory Screening Program, and more.
For more information about AFA, call 866-232-8484, visit www.alzfdn.org, or connect with us on Facebook, X (Twitter), Instagram, or LinkedIn. AFA holds Charity Navigator’s top 4-star rating.
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