Lord, We Believe Your Word,
Which Tells Us That Weeping May Endure For A Night,
But Joy Comes In The Morning.
Help Us Make It Through The Night. Amen.
I don’t know if you have noticed that newspaper obituary sections are much larger. There seem to be a lot more people dying this time of the year. My grandmother would say it’s because the year must take its toll. Regardless of the reason, I know that during the holiday season, many of us have to deal with death and grieve the loss of a loved one.
Now, holidays can be challenging when we are grieving. Our culture often sets up unrealistic expectations around the holidays that can rarely be met. Knowing, accepting, and communicating our limitations to ourselves and others during the holidays can be helpful and liberating.
Here are a few tips for those of you who are grieving to get you through the holiday season:
The anxiety approaching the holiday or holiday season can sometimes be more challenging than the holiday itself.
Deep breathing, rest, and drinking plenty of water can help sustain the body during times of stress. The stress of the season can take a toll on our bodies.
Allow yourself to feel whatever emotion you need to feel. There is no right or wrong way to handle it, and your feelings may change – sometimes quickly. Realize that experiencing happiness and joy does not mean that you are not grieving or that you no longer love or respect the deceased individual.
Remember that everyone grieves differently. Some family members may need to be active, open, and vocal in their grief, while others may need to be quieter, more solemn, or less active.
Know that you have choices. Some families like maintaining long-held traditions for comfort, security, and predictability. Others prefer to change the routine and to create new traditions. Sometimes, getting input from relatives can help when deciding what to do on holidays.
Clear, open, and honest communication about feelings, needs, and activities can alleviate confusion and help manage expectations.
Realize that you may need time alone during the holiday season.
Set small and manageable goals for yourself, especially shopping, wrapping, decorating, cooking, cleaning, and entertaining. You may wish to ask others for assistance.
Some family ritualistic activities may be comforting during the holiday season. This can be as simple as lighting a candle to remember the person or placing a picture of the person where you and others can see it.
Develop a time (for sharing) about the deceased person. Sharing thoughts, loving memories, and stories can provide a sense that the person is still involved in the holiday season.
We realize that some people may do or say things that are not helpful to your grieving process during the holidays. Remember, most of these individuals are not sure what to say, what to do, or how to provide support.
If you feel it would help you, do something in memory of the person who died. Do something worthwhile that can be done with the person’s memory in mind.
Remember that holidays, like everything else, shall pass. They do come to an end. Self-care, genuine support from others, clear and loving communication, setting boundaries, and keeping reasonable expectations of yourself and others can facilitate a safe and healthy holiday grieving process.
But (most of all) learn how to develop a prayer life. A personal relationship with God can help you deal with any hardship you can face. God is able and willing to help you through this challenging time. As the songwriter said: “Tis no secret what God can do, what He’s done for others He will do for you.” With God’s help, you can make it. What do you think?
This is Rev Dr. Wm. Rocky Brown, 3rd, letting you know that GOD and I Love you, and we approve this message because we want to motivate your mind, body & soul. So be happy and enjoy the blessings of The LORD today, my friend! Please subscribe to my website to receive these messages daily at http://www.yourspiritualmotivation.com.
You can also buy my publication: “800 SAYINGS BY OLD FOLKS WHO RAISED US,” from Amazon.com or by emailing wmrocbe@aol.com or by calling 215-480-5333. The cost is $15.00 s/h included.
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