Each day, we experience another death, another tragedy, another loss of life to violence, and we have no answers. There are many people–good people–working to help families and the community cope with the hurt and pain that comes with loss, particularly tragic loss.
As we at Scoop try to support our communities, victims, and families, we have partnered with Zarinah Lomax and The Apologues to respect those we have lost by sharing portraits and brief introductions into the lives of the families that The Apologues’ has featured.
***
Artist: Lynn Denise
Memories Acrylic on canvas
Co-victims: Diana Williams, Tamika Landers, Alice Walker, Antwion Strickland, Shanae Williams
Victim: Howard Smith
Howard Smith was murdered on May 2, 2010, the first hot day of the summer. Howard and other family members were having fun spraying each other with Super Soakers in their Point Breeze neighborhood when Howard’s brother-in-law, an off-duty police officer, started shooting.
Diane says: So, when I started having children, I decided that I only wanted a boy & a girl (in that order), but I had four girls, trying to get a boy. And then for that monster to take My Boy from Me???!!! It turned my whole world upside down!!! I just couldn’t and still can’t believe that my little Howard is no longer here with me on this earth!!! To play with, to just say good morning to, to crack jokes with, to cook for and watch him eat my food, and then get up from the table and say “mom that was delicioso!!!!”
To watch him play with all of his nieces and nephews, some of which they never even got the chance to meet their uncle because Howard loved kids! To know that I will never have grandchildren from my son so that I could watch him raise them up to be productive, happy kids. And to love life and people like, He did. Howard was a happy-go-lucky young man with so much to live for. He was about to take his assessment test for Community College in a couple of weeks–to be able to watch him get married and just be happy!!! I will always miss that Big Kool-aid Smile and those warm Hugs because my Son was a Hugger, just like his mother. Actually all of my children.
Life has been really hard trying from day to day to not give up! Sitting in the cemetery, asking God Why? Why Howard? He did not deserve to die, and he definitely didn’t deserve to die the way he did. It haunts me to wonder what he was thinking when that 1st bullet hit him in the neck, followed by three more bullets, as he lay helpless and God only knows how much excruciating pain he felt, scared, thinking am I gonna die, and saying to himself Mommmmy Help Me! God, please don’t let me die! All I can hear is him thinking, “MOMMMMMM! HELP ME!!!!” I ALWAYS PROTECTED AND TOOK GOOD CARE OF MY BABIES!!!! My Heart is Sooooo Broken without my son. He belongs in my life with me!!!! I will never adjust to life without Howard! I’m just here trying to take care of the rest of my family bcuz nobody is the same!
What is The Apologues?
The Apologues (under the fiscal sponsorship of the Federation of Neighborhood Centers) is a fashion and art exhibit that uses the arts to assist individuals in healing, empowering themselves, and advocating against gun violence and trauma that plague urban communities. Through the use of fashion, art, and music, The Apologues honors the emotions of untreated trauma through the realm of storytelling to trigger healing. We do this through the combination of self-portraits of victims and co-victims, wearable art, and musical experiences combined.
For more information and to support this initiative, visit our website, https://www.theapologues.org
