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Tuesday, November 5, 2024

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Honor thy Mother and thy Father

Reading Time: 4 minutes

I try to remember and live by all of the Ten Commandments found in the Bible, and I guess one of the Commandments that always rings in my head is the one about “Honor Thy Mother and Thy Father.”
You see, my parents didn’t play with us. Their word was the last word. When Theodore or Joe Ann told us to do something, it was done. There was no back talk. There was no getting smart with Mom or Dad. There was no rolling of the eyes, not if you wanted to keep your eyes. There was no sucking in of your breath if you wanted to keep your teeth.
My, does it sound like I was raised in an abusive home? Truthfully, I can count the times I ever got a spanking. My parents made it so I would not forget. I received my last spanking at the age of seven. I decided then and there that I didn’t like getting spankings, and I aimed to be a “good girl,” so I wouldn’t have to get any more of them. The times I did get a spanking, it was our Mother who handed out the punishment and it was always with a thin leather belt that belonged to our father. It stung. And it got the message across.
We were bought up in a very strict home. Up until the age of 13, we had to come inside by 8:00 p.m., even in the summertime when it was still light outside. We stayed out until almost 8:45 p.m. We weren’t allowed to do all the things that other children our same age were allowed to do. We definitely were not allowed to have boys inside our house whether our parents were home or not home until we were over the age of 15. At least one parent had to be inside the house for a boy to sit in the living room. Go upstairs? No way Hosea.
My mother used to tell us things like, “If you make your bed hard, you have to lay in it.” She would say things like, “I bought you in this world, and I’ll take you out of it.”She would also say, “God don’t like ugly”, and she always, always said, “Don’t forget to pray.” Momma also used to say, “Everybody that smiles in your face ain’t your friend.” Another important bit of wisdom she bestowed upon my sister and me was, “It’s nice to be important, but it’s more important to be nice.” And, “If you lay down with dogs, you’ll get up with fleas.”
My Mother, Joe Ann Abney Martin was an awesome woman in my book. She was a very gifted, licensed cosmetologist. For a span of over four decades, she reigned in the beauty culture industry for Black women, largely in Philadelphia. For a little country girl from Ninety-Six, South Carolina, my mother went on to do great things in her life, in her chosen field. God allowed her to do well. She also loved the Lord and honored Him, and Praised Him, all the days of her life on earth.
While my Mom lived, she always tried to prepare my sister and me for the day when God would call her home. But as much as she tried, when it happened, it still hurt beyond words.
To the people who are blessed enough to still have your Mothers with you, I say love your Momma. Honor your Momma. Respect your Momma. Give your Momma her flowers while she is here to smell them and enjoy them. Spend time with your Momma. Don’t just treat her like a passing thought. Spend time.
Some of us are lucky enough to get “Play Moms” in addition to our biological Mothers. Count that all as a blessing and treat your “Play Moms” good too. Bottom line, respect is the name of the game.
There are a few things I can honestly say I never did when my mother lived. I never called her out of her name and never desired to call her out of her name. Sure we had days when we didn’t see eye to eye on certain things, but rather than say anything disrespectful to my Mom, I would excuse myself from the room and the house and cool my jets somewhere. I never did, and never, ever would have raised a hand to hit my Mom. Do what? Never. (I don’t think I would have lived to write about it.) My Mom was surely older than me, but I think she could have beat my you know what. I never tested her. Lol.
It’s Mother’s Day weekend. Celebrate your Mom. And know this: You do not just have to wait for Mother’s Day weekend to treat Mom good. Mom should be treated well 365 days a year once you are old enough to do that. Treat your Mom like a Queen. Period Pooh.
For those like me who have lost their Moms and Grand Moms, do your best to try and remember the good times you shared. If you feel the need to do some crying, go right ahead. Then after a while, wipe your tears away. Wash your face. Have a cool drink of ice tea, or lemon-aide, or whatever floats your boat, and get it together. I bet there is still somebody looking at you, waiting to be mothered.
Happy Mother’s Day Ladies! Enjoy your weekend and be safe.
Get ready to vote on Primary Election Day, Tuesday, May 18th. The polls open at 7 am in PA and remain open until 8 pm. Any voting questions, log on at www.Votespa.com.

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